MusicRock local
June 12, 2010 6:00 am by andrewAs many of you know, I never leave my house. Ensconced comfortably in the ivory towers of Launch Day headquarters, I watch — much as a benevolent dictator would — from on high as the common folk go about their daily business. In other words, I stalk a lot on facebook and youtube.
I do enjoy, occasionally, when diapers are in order, sitters arranged, payments made, logistics handled — a night out. Not one of those fake nights out, either, where you unwrap your food at McBurger’s and then plunk down 25 smackers to watch McMovie at McTheater. I mean an actual night out, one that involves interacting with humanity, connecting with local whatever, rocking the night away, with pretty lass (Mrs. Launch Day aka “trophy wife”) tucked under wing.
So every once in a while, that night out will be spent at one of a handful of stunning local music venues, close enough that I literally ride by bicycle past them daily. For some reason that tickles me to no end … me, my bicycle, a flower behind my ear, an invisible friend riding on my handlebars, riding past the same venues that may be entertaining us later that evening, or month, or year … hosting stellar artists, all for my entertainment pleasure, in more or less my back yard.
It’s all local, all good.
And this is the build up to my main point … 20 dollar ticketmaster service fees. By staying local, I never have to pay them. I roll up to the window on my way home, help my invisible friend off the handlebars, pop into the box office, buy my tickets, and skirt merrily on my way, nary a care in the world.
So I was shocked to peek in on tickets to see an artist at the Nokia, and boom there’s twenty dollars in Ticketmaster service fees. Wha? It feels downright violating. Tickets are only $25 bucks … “only,” ahem … and the service fees are $20. I remember the “old days,” when we complained bitterly about two dollar ticketmaster service fees. Clearly Ticketmaster is doing something wrong … I mean surely they should be getting at least as much as the face value of the ticket. If I’d pay 20, I’d pay 21, right? And if I’d pay 21, I’d pay 22, right? All the way up to 25. And beyond. They offer such a valuable service, too, which I may not be able to think of right now off the top of my head, but no doubt it’s indispensible. I mean no way could venues figure out how to sell something as complex as a ticket by themselves.
So, pphbt. No thanks.
I’ll stay local. I see coming up on the calendar … No Age, Thrice, The National, Dirty Projectors. Pretty incredible.
I know, I know. You’ve never heard of any of those bands. Trust me - each awesome, in it’s own way.
On Cubicles and Girls on Boats
June 11, 2010 8:16 am by andrewWe here at Launch Day headquarters — when we’re not busy shopping at Kohl’s, and being serious artists — like to “keep in touch,” as they say, with current events. By “keep in touch,” of course, we mean eavesdrop on our cubicle neighbors’ — or, “cubiceighbors” — conversations. Yes even at Launch Day we have cubicles. They’re just so DAMN CONVENIENT. How better can you place skilled workers into a managed, clean work environment and give them personal spaces to hang pictures of Pink Floyd and their 1.8 step-children that they’ve inherited for a few years along with their third marriage? You just wouldn’t be able to do it. Celebrate the half walls of tweed, peeps. Celebrate.
I forget what I was saying. Current events. Ah yes. Little Abby so-and-so, at the stripling age of sweet 16, is sailing her little boat around the world. In hurricane season, apparently. She got stuck. Which is great, because now it gives leering, middle aged news-site editors a perfectly acceptable reason to publish many enormous close-up shots (and videos!) of an extremely underage little dish in her swim trunks. God bless the news media and their black little lonely hearts. Whatever sells, right? That’s my motto, too!
I liked what her dad had to say regarding the suggestions that his daughter’s undertaking is dangerous. Let’s check in with Miss Abby so-and-so’s pop, who eats danger for breakfast and has personally crapped turds that are bigger and smarter than me -
“Sailing and life in general is dangerous. Teenagers drive cars. Does that mean teenagers shouldn’t drive a car?” Laurence Sunderland told the AP. “I think people who hold that opinion have lost their zeal for life. They’re living in a cotton-wool tunnel to make everything safe.”
Ah yes, our safe little cotton-wool tunnels. Soaks up zeal for life, 100% guaranteed! God bless you, sir. God bless you.
So people, let’s all take a lesson from today’s current events. Throw back the comfy blanky of your cotton-wool tunnel, spring from bed, spritz on your bottle of Zeal For Life, and do something downright snazzy. See how you feel later. Some of you, like little Abby so-and-so, might end up capsized in the Indian ocean with rescue fishing boats chugging towards you in a mere matter of days. Others of you might fail. Report back. You have your assignment.
Beware of Finland’s cellos
May 17, 2010 10:15 am by andrewFinland + Cellos + Metallica = Apocalyptica.
New Song - “The Circus”
May 11, 2010 9:01 pm by andrewNew song tonight, this one’s called “The Circus.” Totally irrelevant side note - I’ve been watching the “Life” series on the discovery channel with my kids. And you know what? Nature is downright snazzy. After nearly every scene I end up clapping a little golf clap on my couch. “Nice one, God.” <clap clap clap> “Ooooh, cool.” <clap clap clap>. I can appreciate the world we’ve been planted on, particularly when it’s present in Hi-Def with a cool theme song. There’s a bunch of cool stuff out there in the plant world. I know I couldn’t do it. Hey, too bad we’re currently dumping oil into its various nooks and crannies at the rate of 210,000 barrels a day. That’s all right. We’ve already got the TV show made, we can do what we want to it now, right?
Crank and enjoy.
New song - “There Is None Like You”
April 26, 2010 9:05 pm by andrewThis one’s called “There Is None Like You” and while the musical inspiration comes deep from the bowels of rock, the lyricals on this one come straight from the good book, Isaiah 46. I admit there are times I grow sick of listening to the blind misleading the blinder, and the moral relativism of the modern age seems sillier and sillier every day, so there are times my friends to simply relax, breathe in, breathe out, and thank our lucky stars that we have in ye ol’ good book the fountain of truth for those brave enough to dive in, dig around, and believe. Mrs Launch Day turned me on to this particular passage so this one goes out to her. Crank and enjoy.
Two-fer Tuesday Blowout Bash
March 9, 2010 10:17 pm by andrewTwo new tracks today. An “A” side and a “B” side, if you will. The first track is called “Did You Forget About Me,” (details) and it’s a nice little back-and-forth ‘tween humanity and humanity’s creator, should you be into that sort of thing, which I am, most of the time. The second is called “My Little Brothers Bike Jump” (details) and it’s a moving - dare i say poignant - tale of derring do.
Launch Day - Did You Forget About Me: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Launch Day - My Little Brothers Bike Jump: Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadNew song - “Going Back For More”
January 26, 2010 9:31 pm by andrewNew song tonight, this one’s called “Going Back For More.” Like a wee little bird, I sing songs for you. La la la la la. For those of you taking notes at home this one’s about a guy that was messed up, got cleaned up, and now perseveres, mostly on cliches and grit. I confess, I love little songs like this. Close your little eyes and imagine someone like maybe the bastard love child of Trent Reznor and Dilbert singing it. It’s also got a wicked 30 second piano intro.
New song - “Bigger and Bigger”
December 2, 2009 10:08 pm by andrewNew song tonight, this one’s called “Bigger and Bigger.” Bigger problems make for bigger heroes. Share and enjoy.
New Song - “The Speed Of Freefall”
November 3, 2009 10:14 pm by andrewWe’re serious artists here at Launch Day headquarters, people. It’s tough looking this good when you shop at Kohl’s. But we bear down and make it happen.
Here’s a new song (CAN YOU HANDLE IT INTERTWITTERNETVILLE?) I dug up out of the workstation, this peppy little number about the moral suicide of modern man nuanced with overtones of spiritual cliff jumping is called “The Speed Of Freefall.” It’s danceability quotient is pegged at eleven, people. Whoa. The scale only goes to ten. CRAZY.
And don’t forget. Jesus loves you, yes, even you — idiot in the back row? Yeah, you. Especially you. (Dude right next to him? Not so much.)
Oh this is how OCD I have become. I’ve started tracking the MySpace stats of whatever bands I happen to come across in “the feeds.” You can actually quantify fame these days, peeps. I am amazed by two things: how many ridiculously famous bands I have never heard of, and I forget the second one. Oh, folk is huge. I had no idea how huge folk is. Seriously. A folky dude named “Iron & Wine” who I have never, ever, ever, ever, ever heard of (due to my own lameness. I have never heard of anybody, apparently.) is, according to the MySpace profile views number (5.2 million), bigger than Weezer. And you could have caught Mr. Iron & Wine at the, er, Benefit for Midwives Alliance of North America back on July 27, according to his tour stats. Which actually sounds like a heckuva good gig.
More on the numbers later, I promise. I double super secret promise with a pinky swear.
Good night.
Guantanamo torture music
November 2, 2009 8:43 am by andrewOur intrepid LD investigators have got like the totally full-on list of Guantanomo torture music. Look, kids. I don’t take this lightly. I want everyone to breathe in, breathe out. Because let’s face it. You’re gonna need every breath you’ve got to rock like guantanamo detainees!! (I used to call the detainees “torture stars” — seriously, those dudes hold press conferences — but thought it just another incredibly insensitive, watered down media misuse of the otherwise terrifying phrase “torture.”)
Anyways, The Yooonited States Military Complex nailed it on this one. I couldn’t have put together a more invigorating playlist myself. Were they trying to get the detainees to slam dance? One thing I’m curious about — what exactly is a U.S. Marine doing w/ a copy of the Sesame Street theme song on his Ipod? Whatever. It works. The detaineees (”torture stars”) will have something to sing to their kids when they get home. I’ll tell you something — when the turbanned invaders from Gihadistad or whoever they are finally take over this place and drag me off to their prison camp, I do wonder if they’ll throw their meanest children’s music at me. Because I’ll grit my teeth and take it, buddy. American style. You won’t see me crying about it at no press conference. These colors don’t run. I’m in training right now. I’ve been listening to Neil Diamond’s “America’ for literally years. And the Sesame Street theme song — I’ve sung that thing so many times. Grrrrrrrrr it can’t EVEN break me. Though I’m really not surprised that Grover (and, I believe, both Bert AND Ernie) have come out to take a firm stand against the Yoooonited States Military Complex like totally hoarking their theme song to play at detainees. That’s terrible, and I can sympathize with them. But thank heavens they’re just empty puppets prattling out to the genius masses whatever their swanky executive producers think the pop culture sheep want to hear at any given moment. Oh wait, that’d be Michael Stipe. Whatever. And finally, the list. http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/10/22/musicians.guantanamo/
– AC/DC
– Aerosmith
– Barney theme song (By Bob Singleton)
– The Bee Gees
– Britney Spears
– Bruce Springsteen
– Christina Aguilera
– David Gray
– Deicide
– Don McClean
– Dope
– Dr. Dre
– Drowning Pool (”Bodies”)
– Eminem
– Hed P.E.
– James Taylor
– Limp Bizkit
– Marilyn Manson
– Matchbox Twenty
– Meatloaf
– Meow mix jingle (”???”)
– Metallica
– Neil Diamond (”America”)
– Nine Inch Nails (”March of the pigs”)
– Pink
– Prince
– Queen
– Rage against the Machine
– Red Hot Chili Peppers
– Redman
– Saliva
– Sesame street theme music (By Christopher Cerf)
– Stanley Brothers
– The Star Spangled Banner
– Tupac Shakur
