On Message

I like to keep up on the latest Lance Armstrong news. You can learn a lot from following his lanceness. I like Lance. I wish I could be more like him. That’s why I’m making the following changes.

Appearance Fees – you want me, we’re going to have to work out the details with my people. Which brings me to my next point.

My People – I want to get to that special place where I no longer have friends, rather I have people.

Third Person Plural – We’re going to need to refer to ourselves in third person plural pretty much most of the time. It’s good for you, it’s good for us.

Get Our Message Out There – We have a message, and we need to stay “on message.” Lance fights cancer. Everybody knows that. We’re (third person plural) going to fight two things: adult onset diabetes, and improper tire inflation. The former makes people sick, and by battling it we can get folks healthy again. The later makes people poor, and by fighting it, we can keep them rolling along. Also — there’s absolutely no denying the positive energy boost one gets after inflating one’s tires to proper levels, and if I (excuse me, “we”) can attach ourselves to that moment, all the better.

Raising Awareness — we (“we”) are always “on.” It’s important to be on. Always raising awareness for our message. And we seek to build friendships with corporate entities who share our message. (And sometimes that message is, “the check cashes.” That’s ok. In fact that’s fantastic.)

Press Conferences — if you’d like me to attend an event, I’d really like to make it happen, but the best thing “we” can do to make it happen is for you to contact _[your name here]_. He/she handles our details for the foundation (see next point.) That’s code for first we’re going to work out the fee. Afterwards, I’ll make myself available for questions. Q & A. I don’t like to mingle, that will definitely be a little harder to get done (code for “cost more.”) Rather, let’s form a line, set up a table. Field some questions. Raise awareness. Get our message out there. We’d like to join forces with you in raising awareness for your event and for our message.

Start A Foundation – for our message. For awareness. For fund raising. The Launch Day Adult Onset Diabetes and Improper Tire Inflation Foundation. LDAODITIF. “LiveLoud”. No, “LaunchLoud.” No – “Launch Day”. Perfect! We’ll find an acronym to fit that later.

So ok everyone, let’s get our message out there. Let’s raise awareness. It ain’t cheap, it ain’t easy, but it’s definitely worth it.

“Join Launch Day in the global fight against adult onset diabetes and improper tire inflation.”

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