Singing “weeeee are the chaaaampions … something something…”
Here in the ivory towered headquarters of launch day inc, responding to new market needs is what we do. Finger on the pulse of society and all that. And somehow embroiled in all of that we (third person plural) undertook, more or less on a whim (whimsy, the preferred tool of the powerful), anyways we quit coffee for thirty days. and we (third person plural again) did. more or less.
thats right folks, for thirty days, four thursdays ago, we quit. we started the Quit Project.
Spending the first week or two curled in a fetal ball, devising new techniques for combating the basest and most pedestrian of medical conditions – the throbbing headache – we slowly reached a zen sea of tranquility, harnessing the kinetic power of such long-forgotten artifacts of bygone times such as “walking”, and “sleeping” – to redefine the chemical pathways in that most abused of modern wetware, the human brain.
this achievement however comes with a most significant asterisk. A stain, if you will, on this supposedly great feat. A performance enhancing drug, most certainly. A hair of the dog, in fact – coffee. A lone, single cup per day. I combated coffee with coffee.
All that to say, I took a cup a day for thirty days. And as i cast myself onto the trash heap of asterisk’ed flunkies like barry bonds, mark mcgwire, um, mark mcgwire, and barry bonds, oh and lance, i suppose, but let me just say in my defense that it was different in this era, everybody was doing it, i thought it was cocoa, etc etc.
but really. i won’t go into details but lets just say my daily intake, before the Quit Project, was significant. so i’ll take the win.
also, tea. My heart felt thanks to the kind hearted folks at Twining. Lapsong Souchong (the best tea nooone’s ever heard of), and Earl Grey (Gray? Grey?) were subtler, kinder, replacements.
Also – Dandy blend. The strangest little powdered concoction containing, as i read the label here in my mahogony-paneled board room, “extracts of roasted barley, rye, chicory root, dandelion root, and beet root.” whatever. stick it in my cup, add hot water, choke it down. good enough for grampa, good enough for me.
Thank you, good night.