Literary Sequels That Never Got Written

“I Sold This Horse For That Guy’s Kingdom”
A lighthearted comedy romp about a clumsy ne’er-do-well that makes an instant fortune when he encounters the trade of a lifetime.

“At Least I Got Soul”
A young, mischevious devil with an impulsive gambling problem gives away a generation of the world’s wealth, power and secrets in return for a single human soul. He spends decades in depressed regret.

“A Pound of WHAT?”
Shakesperean schemer Shylock learns that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned when he tries to explain to his wife that he issued a large, high-risk loan in exchange for a pound of human flesh offered as security. (“What am I supposed to do with that, make soap?” derides the wife. She leaves him. His cousin offers a package of bacon in return for a mortgage.)

These are my literary sequels that never got written. Thank you good night.

Poetic License

Here at launchday our interests waffle between “dumb” and “dumber.” You do it long enough though and eventually youre bound to hit pure gold every once in a while. This is not one of those times. This is, however, something we wag our fingers in the air and say i DARE YOU to try this. This is your inner english major coming out to play. We’ve invented a new poetic form, the bastard child of haiku and the petrarchan sonnet. it is something we call:

Bipolar Twins / Ten Lines

that’s pronounced “bipolar twins, ten lines.”

Here’s the deal. Take two topics, basically opposites. (ie the “bipolar” in its namesake). stick with me – two words per line, each pair of lines forms a twin (ie, the “twins”). 10 lines total (uh “ten lines”). each line takes a turn addressing one of the topics. and here’s where it gets screwy – the FIRST letter of each line’s SECOND WORD has to be the first letter of the the next line’s first word. you’ll thank me for this when you’re reading them out loud. as if you’ll ever read them out loud. oh then the last line has to prompt the first line. that’s it, those are the rules.

it’s not nearly as complicated as it sounds. Here’s an example. And by “example” of course I mean the BEST ONE EVER WRITTEN.

Let’s call it “Wild / Man Made” – ok so you get the opposites. “wild” … verses … “man made.” not difficult. ok. (now shhhh. just – shhhhh. still yourself.) ok lets go – slowly — roll them over your tongue and let the brain visuals come after each line-

Coyote howl
Homeland security
Sugar pines
Price inflation
Infinite galaxies
Game Over
Oceans. Arid.
Affordable Care

boom thats it DONE bam. that was masterful. did you get visuals in your brain after each line? the distortions on the brain chemistry each line brought? what? anyone?

i hope so.

go ahead, try it. go write one. it’ll take you five minutes. or it could take you the rest of your life.